ERIN FETTES, Psy.D.
Reproductive Mental Health Psychologist

If you are here, you are hurting in a very specific way.

I'm Dr. Erin Fettes (she/her). I'm a licensed psychologist practicing in Oregon, Washington and Colorado, and I specialize in psychotherapy for individuals navigating infertility, LGBTQIA+ family building, and perinatal grief & loss. This is my specialty not just because I studied it, but because I've lived it. I've been trying to conceive with my wife for years. My own journey has included donor gametes, many rounds of IUI, moving into IVF, failed embryo transfers, and pregnancy loss. I know what it's like to sit across from a provider who doesn't quite understand what your family looks like, or who ties your fertility to your weight before they've asked you anything else. Have you been told to lose weight on your TTC journey? I have and I don't love that for us! I'm queer and fat, and I have navigated medical systems with all of what people think these things mean about me. You won't have to explain yourself here.

I also know that this experience has a language: fertilization, attrition, two-week waits, beta numbers, failed transfers, missed miscarriage. Having to translate all of it before you can even get to the hard part is exhausting. In our work together, we skip that part.

I've personally worked with midwives, reproductive endocrinologists, acupuncturists, and therapists on my own TTC journey, and I am happy to collaborate professionally with your reproductive health providers as part of your care team. I'm already familiar with the procedures, the decisions, the particular grief of a cycle that didn't work, the gutting disappointment of a cycle that looked promising. What I'm here to understand is how it's landing for you specifically and what you need right now.

I’m also clear that this field is still not doing enough to center the people who face the most barriers: BIPOC folks, fat folks, queer and trans folks, disabled folks — people for whom medical settings have often been harmful long before infertility entered the picture. That's who I built this practice for, though all are welcome.

I completed my doctorate at Nova Southeastern University and my pre & post-doctoral training at the VA Pacific Islands Health Care System. I'm trained in Attachment Focused EMDR, which I use specifically for processing reproductive trauma and loss. I see clients via telehealth throughout Oregon, Washington and Colorado.